Dear loyal readers, I am so sorry for keeping you waiting these past few days. I know all of you check the Campus Celebs' blog multiple times per day, itching for new updates about our magnificent lives. Well wait no longer.
But let's start on a sour note...
We need to get something clear: people need to take care of themselves.
When I am on my way to class in the morning and some bitch walks up to me, wearing faded jean capris with no back pockets and butterfly earrings from Forever 21, I think my day couldn't get much worse. Then I inhale. She smells like my grandmother's closet exploded on her, and I don't mean that she smells like sequins. The sick, penetrating stench of mothballs clings to my nostrils and I know deep down that it won't leave me for the entire day. Shower.
When I am sitting in my test, trying to reach into the depths of my mind to recall information about Thomas Hobbes' writings on what it means to be human, I don't want to hear wheezing coming from the girl next to me with butterfly-clipped hair, circa 2001. And I can hear you now: "Oh, King, she's obviously asthmatic. Leave her be." NO. She does not have asthma. And if she did, I would blow dust in her face if it meant she would shut up. Instead, the wheezing comes from her nose, where her natural landscape of uncleanliness has created a whistle out of her nostrils. Sick. Blow your nose.
But now that I have that out of my system...
The Queen and I have had an excellent past few days. We took a break from our usual Thursday activities with a select loyal crowd of followers. Midterms were rearing their ugly head.
What we missed on Thursday, we made up for on Friday. One of our favorite Asian-inspired establishments welcomed our presence with open arms, knowing full well we would get the party started. When we got there, it was slightly busy. Once word spread that the King and Queen were there, the place was filled to capacity. Drinks flowed and dancing ensued. We drew the attention of quite a few spectators. Many were taking pictures, some were recording us on video, and a few courageous patrons had the courage to approach us to express their approval. I'm slowly getting used to the cameras constantly in my face...
The football game ended less than desirably, but the halftime show made it all worth it. Our good friend Karissa (the national champion twirler) successfully juggled FOUR flaming batons directly in front of our front-row seats. Shortly after, my favorite new friend Suzanne, also known as the winningest coach is history, gave me a little shout-out on the jumbotron as she was being announced for her most recent national championship. I can't wait until our night downtown together.
Our usual driver was unavailable during the evening after the game; the roads prove to be tricky when the police unnecessarily block off roads. I whisked the Queen and her neighbor, the world-class golf pro, off for a night on the town. It was such a treat to have dinner purchased for us by the Louisianans in town for the game. It's not everyday you party with the VP of a Fortune 500 company right before he buys you dinner.
Sunday has been a day of rest (comparably speaking) so far, but our executive board duties commence once again this evening. I guess that's just one more group of people eagerly looking up to us for advice...
I wish our followers the best week possible. Shout out to The DuTcHesS!
Goodnight,
The King
in the words of miley cyrus, the butterflies really DO need to fly away. sucha struggle with early 2000 fashion trying to creep back into our lives?
ReplyDeletei've got to mention to you (in reference to friday night) that one of our fans found us on facebook. her name is laura. she asked to hangout this thursday night so instead of committing i just asked for her number. you better believe i didn't give her MY number. do you know how fast those digits would dash abound campus? a celeb never discloses their personal info to outsiders.
also, i looked up my friend from dinner on general electric's page and he is indeed considered vp. i saw his pic online and he is listed under the executive board of leaders under the title of chief financial officer of GE's commercial finance division. i realize now i should've ordered more?!
about our usual driver...i've found someone better than HB. it's actually an organization...they specialize on safe, free, non-judgemental rides on thursday nights. how perfect. i'll get someone to get in contact with them to arrange a ride for us this week.
the exec board meeting was exhausting, but success. all eyes are always on us (and ears apparently!) i'm sure the kickoff we plan and host will be a smash. HC WITH MC.
i should probably continue composing my exposition on self-concept...except the paparazzi probably knows more about me than i do these days!
Forever and Always,
The Queen