Chapter: Campus Celebs

Hello all!

...and when I say all I really mean ALL!

Apparently our infamous blog was center of attention (just as we always are) throughout the duration of a certain sorority's chapter tonight. I'm so glad our ideas about the world and ourselves are being shown to the onlookers and wannabes that infiltrate our lives.

Bravo, Madame Dragonfly.

On to much more important news!

I've got two different pitches to deliver to two different men tomorrow. Both are considered very high in the business and I am making it a point to carefully, yet

charismatically cast my cleverly conceived concept to them and hope for the best.

What is to worry though when you ARE the best?

The CEO of the Executive Board (the same one in which I am named PR Director) wants to meet up for dinner tomorrow night. It's difficult because I want to fulfill my duties, but as for tomorrow my duty is my draft! I have a major essay due on Thursday that I will be finalizing tomorrow night. Having the foresight of it becoming a major publication that will be sold worldwide one day, I am really trying to make it as fabulous as possible. It's a shame my writers are off on vacation in the mountains this week otherwise, I'd have them take care of it.

Speaking of vacation? Should it surprise you that I am jet-setting it to Africa this month? Ewwww, Africa! AIDs! No, no, no. Not to worry. I will be vacationing in Tunisia. For all of those poor souls with poor skills in Geography, Tunisia is located in North Africa off the coast of the Mediterranean Sea. I hope to enjoy the luxuries of my usual first class travel, literally. The plane ride will be a long one, but I will have a glorious five star hotel to look forward to after the long journey. Mom has already scheduled a full body massage for me upon arrival. It will be a nice escape from the madness of midterms.

Tonight I brainstormed ideas with two of my production team members. Classic. We posted up at our customary coffee joint and spoke of crazed short film storylines over free popcorn and cookies. Low class much? Perhaps, but when it is hand delivered to your table from the Gamer's Alliance it's okay. They were so tragic it was almost precious that they were seeking my approval.

Alright well enough is enough. This paper can't write itself (even though in most cases that is how it goes down) so I must complete this before I head to bed.

Sleep well all and remember...

The Queen IS The Queen.

I have eyes and ears from all over that are watching you.

Some people prefer friends and followers of quality over quantity and I am just fortunate enough to have the best of both worlds. Watch your back bitch(es).

Forever and Always,

The Queen

Wonderful Weekend

Dear loyal readers, I am so sorry for keeping you waiting these past few days. I know all of you check the Campus Celebs' blog multiple times per day, itching for new updates about our magnificent lives. Well wait no longer.

But let's start on a sour note...

We need to get something clear: people need to take care of themselves.

When I am on my way to class in the morning and some bitch walks up to me, wearing faded jean capris with no back pockets and butterfly earrings from Forever 21, I think my day couldn't get much worse. Then I inhale. She smells like my grandmother's closet exploded on her, and I don't mean that she smells like sequins. The sick, penetrating stench of mothballs clings to my nostrils and I know deep down that it won't leave me for the entire day. Shower.

When I am sitting in my test, trying to reach into the depths of my mind to recall information about Thomas Hobbes' writings on what it means to be human, I don't want to hear wheezing coming from the girl next to me with butterfly-clipped hair, circa 2001. And I can hear you now: "Oh, King, she's obviously asthmatic. Leave her be." NO. She does not have asthma. And if she did, I would blow dust in her face if it meant she would shut up. Instead, the wheezing comes from her nose, where her natural landscape of uncleanliness has created a whistle out of her nostrils. Sick. Blow your nose.

But now that I have that out of my system...

The Queen and I have had an excellent past few days. We took a break from our usual Thursday activities with a select loyal crowd of followers. Midterms were rearing their ugly head.

What we missed on Thursday, we made up for on Friday. One of our favorite Asian-inspired establishments welcomed our presence with open arms, knowing full well we would get the party started. When we got there, it was slightly busy. Once word spread that the King and Queen were there, the place was filled to capacity. Drinks flowed and dancing ensued. We drew the attention of quite a few spectators. Many were taking pictures, some were recording us on video, and a few courageous patrons had the courage to approach us to express their approval. I'm slowly getting used to the cameras constantly in my face...

The football game ended less than desirably, but the halftime show made it all worth it. Our good friend Karissa (the national champion twirler) successfully juggled FOUR flaming batons directly in front of our front-row seats. Shortly after, my favorite new friend Suzanne, also known as the winningest coach is history, gave me a little shout-out on the jumbotron as she was being announced for her most recent national championship. I can't wait until our night downtown together.

Our usual driver was unavailable during the evening after the game; the roads prove to be tricky when the police unnecessarily block off roads. I whisked the Queen and her neighbor, the world-class golf pro, off for a night on the town. It was such a treat to have dinner purchased for us by the Louisianans in town for the game. It's not everyday you party with the VP of a Fortune 500 company right before he buys you dinner.

Sunday has been a day of rest (comparably speaking) so far, but our executive board duties commence once again this evening. I guess that's just one more group of people eagerly looking up to us for advice...

I wish our followers the best week possible. Shout out to The DuTcHesS!

Goodnight,

The King

Downer Dragonflies

Entomology.

I sat in my usual seat with my usual posse. Yet, I also seemed to make an unusual connection. Karl lectured on dragonflies today. They are part of the order Odonata. As I burned the bug knowledge into my noggin, I began finding interesting metaphorical parallels with these dragonfly attributes and certain people.

Incomplete metamorphosis.

Unlike beautiful butterflies that grow along the lines of complete metamorphosis the dragonfly undergoes incomplete metamorphosis. The fact they are labeled incomplete doesn't make them any less of an insect it just means they only go through 3 life stages rather the 4 life stages complete metamorphosis insects go through. 80% of all insects blossom through the process of complete metamorphosis while the remaining insects like cockroaches and dragonflies are in the minority of NOT. Perhaps these dragonflies feel that since it only takes them 3 life stages to become an adult they are better, have more knowledge or of a higher class than you?

Biting mouthparts.

Aggressive. These bugs can't survive without eating other bugs alive. Quite comparable to how people can be. Angrily accusing, telling people off, or just being a complete BITCH. Making one feel less of themself to somehow make themselves appear more mature than the rest.

Small Antennae.

Not as aware as others with larger antennae. Something could be staring them right in the face and they wouldn't know it. Whether it's another insect or figuratively speaking, a concept they just can't seem to wrap their little antennae around. You feel bad for them because they miss out on a lot without realizing. They are quick to assume and are never quite as successful in their argumentative ways in the end.

Predators.

This one kind of goes hand in hand with having biting mouthparts. Always ready to prey, but never be preyed upon. These so called predators fail to realize the world operates on a little system called the circle of life. As much as they may want to believe, there's no way in hell a Dragonfly is at the top of the food chain.

VERY large eyes.

Ha! How ironic!?

Forever and Always,

The Queen

Manic Monday

Last night was a late night and it wasn't drawn on due to studying. I logged onto Facebook, as I always do to end my day, to see notifications in the double digits...no big deal. I did my routine browsing of pictures to scope out all of the events I was pestered to make an appearance at that I chose -not- to attend, read my fan mail, and updated my Activities list (since I am involved with a founding Executive Board and all now) Just as I was about to quickly click the logout link the ever so familiar "pop" sounded. Oh goodness, a Facebook chat.

My poor. little. eyeballs. All the flash cubes had already strained them well enough, but having to keep them open and concentrated on these endless Facebook conversations was ridic. I don't have time for these people? I mean...I don't want to come off as a bitch, but really? I've got sleep to take care of. Anyway, after I finally cut the conversations down to my typical, "gotta run" (ha, because I always AM on the run...off to the crazed, glowing streets of New York one week and on a breezy, seaside shore the next) I was able to escape into my dreams for the night.

As of this morning things have been quite manic. I awoke from my short slumber in a realization that I had to get to my 9:05am class and fast. My escort service was unavailable because I usually schedule times for them to pick me up in advance, but my life has been so full of stardom lately I haven't had the time to make arrangements. Do you know what that means? Do you KNOW what I had to succumb to? Public. Transportation.

I strut out of my residence in my Martha's Vineyard sweatshirt, the low-key land of the filthy rich and famous, to wait for the......bus, ew. Surprisingly I only waited about 2 minutes until my bus of choice arrived. Slowly rolling it pulled up and the cattle shifted along trying to align themselves with the doors. Should it surprise you that the back door lined up along the curb of which I was standing? No, of course not.

I was the first to step on and was one of very few who was seated. Although I was given a place to rest the royalty that is myself I was not very comfortable. Yes I was seated, but my point of view was not pleasing. As someone who stands on the bus you're kind of up in your own world? You begin fighting your own arm strength to remain upright and not accidently dry hump those who surround you on those crowded, congested, herky, jerky rides. You are so focused on getting to your destination everything else is a blur. However, for someone like me who is seated you are often forced to face a certain tragic pair of cargo shorts, Sketchers, a patterned Jansport bookbag, the back pocket of someone's Mudd jeans, or perhaps an unfortunate case of bacne (ahem, that is acne on someone's back) BUT THE WORST OF ALL was staring face to face with a PALE LEG. Um, sick. Now let me tell you something about paleness. FIX IT. Although it's been recently proven that tanning beds cause those aged under 30 to increase their chances of skin cancer by 75% there is nothing wrong with a little NATURAL SUNLIGHT. Go outside! Everyone needs a little Vitamin D! It's obvious these pale people are poor?! Do they not vacation? Do they not allow themselves the opportunity to just close their eyes and soak up the rays? Oh dear, God. Let me finish. This pale leg was not the only problem.....it was accompanied by a TATTOO.

I hate tattoos with such a passion its almost illogical. Their ugly black, dirty red, dark blue and mud green coloring UGH and against such PALE skin. It’s not my idea of art. What is it with people these days? Why are they begging attention to be drawn to their hideous, permanent stamps. If you are not a sailor, biker, drug dealer, or black man who loves their mom/had a friend die in a driveby JUST STOP. Maybe it's just the high-class snobbery of my English upbringing talking, but I'm pretty sure tattoos are terrifying. I am certain there are some intelligent, cultured and indeed good people out there somewhere who display tattoos. All in all though I feel as though real value lies in something far deeper than tattooing.

Sorry for my rant.

I've gotta go give someone my coffee order.

Forever and Always,

The Queen

Simple Sunday

Most of the day today was spent quietly indoors, hiding from our throngs of admirers. They get so tiring after a while. But, alas, we had to venture out after a while to fulfill our duties to society. (And we have many, many appearance to make on a daily basis.)

My Queen mentioned earlier the employee that occasionally cooks for us. EWWW WORKER! Well he spotted us again. Like, really? We met you once. That doesn't mean we want you to be our friend. Stop saying hi. Of course, we were gracious and we were nothing less than polite to the blue-collar man. Oh, what it must be like to be poor...

One of our athlete friends wanted dinner with us tonight, but we had to decline. She's such a sweet girl, but we just can't always make time for her. I mean, even ranking 17th in the world can't get you our attention ALL the time.

We sped away to the other side of the city for a peaceful dinner. Ironically, we are even more well known along that infamous boulevard. Fortunately we were able to avoid too much notoriety there. One peasant fellow, who obvi didn't know who we were, let the door slam in the Queen's face. We were NOT pleased, and he could tell. You should've seen how quickly he apologized. We responded by gossiping about his greasy hair. Seriously, shampoo isn't that expensive.

We arrived early to our executive board meeting, taking the elevator from the parking garage to avoid the crowds. But as soon as the door opened, who was there waiting for us? None other than the press. They wanted an interview, but we just let our Directors of Operations and Business take care of that for us. I'm so glad we have a competent staff.

We left very late and the Queen was craving her signature drink. Unfortunately we live in a city that's... shall we say "less than metropolitan?" We're following our educational destiny, but we sometimes sacrifice the luxuries of the big city life. We used a few contacts to find her favorite drink, only to find the Australian store which sells it kept its doors open late just for us. The manger was so sweet, but a little too eager to please. What a fine establishment...

Some creature begging for money outside thought we were from L.A. (surprise, surprise). I mean, it's a nice place to visit and have a weekend house to mingle with starlets, but I could never live there. I've been told I'm made for that city... I guess I can see it. I would just hate to live too close to Hollywood. The spotlight belongs on ME and ME only.

I should probably head off to bed. Damon Evans and the Athletic Association needs me for an appearance early in the morning. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Goodnight,

The King

Brunch and Board

Well, my BFF and I have decided to start a blog.

Our celeb status began when both of us were crowned King and Queen for homecoming and prom court in high school. As I was the face our high school, being host of all pep rallies and morning TV shows while the BFF was editor of yearbook and President of Beta Club we basically ran the school. Things just seemed to carry over into college and since then we've become an even bigger deal.

We decided it was important to record our fame through a blog of just a rundown of our typical day.

For instance, today we wake up (after a night of raging) in our own warm beds. We didn't awake in any sketchy frat or rando's couches...we were escorted back to our residences courtesy of a few fans because we were both far too krunk to drive ourselves...and who drives themselves anywhere anyway? EWWW! DRIVER!

We strolled over to the dining commons for a simple brunch, but it wasn't until I put my first spoonful of cereal in my mouth an adoring onlooker approached cautiously. We had met him the night before as he slaved over the stove and prepared us our dinner. Ugh, just another worker to our life. He bravely questioned if he could join us and we looked at each other as we have many times before in a moment of someone's starstruck-ness and said..."of course." We caved in. He probably felt like such a star.

I've been studying most of today because a celeb has to retain her reputation by keeping her academics in tip top shape in order to continue the cash flow that is HOPE.

Later tonight we will dine somewhere downtown (probably somewhere low key so the commoners don't bother us with their stop and chats) and then we will proceed to attend our meeting at 8:30pm. It should come as no surprise that the both of us were hand selected to be on the founding Executive Board of the school organization. What makes it even better is that we are Co-Directors of the same committee, Public Relations. Ahh yes, Public Relations. Isn't that the idea of gaining exposure to a certain cause or organization? I guess the people in charge knew exposure was one of our fortes.

Well, I've gotta continue my studies. You should do the same.

Forever and Always,

The Queen